The Dark Cloud

The cloud comes on suddenly, turning my world from bright to dark within seconds.

I cringe away from it, holding onto the light with all my might,

Most of the times I lose the battle.

I look at Aarav's ever smiling face and wish I had half of his sunny nature,

Day after day, in his chair, with not a murmur of complaint

And yet here I am, railing helplessly against the fates.

I, who once loved the sameness of each day,

Today prays for something new to happen.

A movement, a sensation, a development, a miracle.

I look for new ways to keep him busy, and he makes his own fun.

The cycle, the rocking horse, the doll pram, all kept out of sight

Sometimes I think more for me than for him.

Bruno looks on puzzled, wondering where his playmate has gone,

Where are the tiny feet which headed straight for him every morning.

The face that would press into his fur and giggle with unadulterated joy.

The nights are the toughest, the darkness finding an echo in my heart.

My eyes refusing to shut, lest I dream of what I long for, and wake up disappointed.

The silence is punctuated by Aarav's voice, asking me to help him turn,

My baby, who once would not stay still even while asleep,

today at the mercy of nerves that are taking their own sweet time to regenerate.

I tell myself I won't write about the darkness anymore

That people must be tired of hearing me whine

But when the dark cloud descends, my words are the only way to keep it at bay.

I look back and am thankful at how far we have come.

I look ahead and want to weep at how far we still need to go.

The woods this time are only dark and deep,

And each day is a promise I try to keep

But there are miles to go before I sleep

Miles to go before I sleep...

(Frost)