The 3am Friends
Like almost everything else in our society, the concept of friendship is something which is expected to fit into neat little columns.
So, we have childhood friends; the ones we have known forever, the ones
who have seen us grow and who have grown with us.
Then we have our “official” friends; people whom we started out as
knowing as colleagues and who eventually became more.
Then come our family friends; people whom we start out with on a formal note
but come to accept and admire as our own.
As we head into our 40’s we have our mid-life friends; the ones who get
to know us after a major portion of our lives is over but who, all the same, have
our back.
And then of course, there are “mom friends”; people whom we get to know through
our kids and who continue to be a part of our lives, even when the kids don’t
really recognize each other at all!!!
But very seldom, as adults, do we talk about our 3am friends. Now, as someone
in their 40s you will probably understand that 3am doesn’t literally mean that.
After all, how many moms in their 40s do you know who shall be awake enough for
a coherent conversation at 3am?? No, by 3am friends I mean those whom you can
text or call at any given time of the day or night. Now, they may not always
reply immediately, depending on the age, nature and activity of their child and
job, but reply they will.
The beauty of a 3am friend is that it is a bond that demands…. nothing.
As we head into and pass by the 4th year of Aarav’s
physiotherapy, I often find myself raving and ranting at the fates which dealt
us this hand; a hand that demands grueling physiotherapy from a six-year-old
and needs me to adorn the strictest form of a mother I ever envisaged being. For
instance, a couple of days ago, on Friday to be exact, Aarav was being particularly
difficult at physiotherapy. He went so far as to announce to the entire clinic
that I was not a nice mother, because I never allowed for a day where he could
slack in his exercises. I listened quietly as he hollered out his protests,
till his doctor quietly told him that if I had been a nice and kind mother, he
would be facing the rest of his life in a wheelchair. I don’t know who was more
taken aback at this statement; Aarav or me, but it did result in him focusing
on his exercises better.
As for me, I found myself remembering the time four years ago when all I
wished for was for Aarav’s life to be spared and a friend telling me that once
he was out of the woods, she knew that I would get him to walk.
That is the beauty of friendship; it never lets us doubt ourselves.
Mom has always told me that I am lucky in my friendships. I agree, for looking
back, there has never been a time when I needed a friend and was let down;
irrespective of gender, timing or circumstances.
Today, at the end of a particularly bad and sad week, I choose to focus
on this blessing. Life (mostly) sucks, and yet we are expected to get through
it, one step at a time, with a smile on our faces. For me, without my cohort of
friends whom I consider to be family, I wouldn’t have reached where I am today.
So, as they say, if we have come this far, then we shall find the
strength to go further too. But it surely won’t be without my 3am friends.
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